Wednesday, September 8, 2010

McKillan's: The First Night pt.1-5

"Steven!" I flayed my arms wildly in an attempted protest, but his grip was far to strong. I needed to get back into a proper exercise routine again. "I absolutely do not want to go."

"Come on man, I need a wingman and Jeremy isn't going to come." He begged, pathetically.

I looked over at my best friend, Jeremy, who was sitting in front of his computer, staring at his girlfriend's Facebook page. She had decided to take a semester abroad and was coming home soon; but he made it seem like she was on a lost archeological expedition. He could sense my eyes on him, we had been friends so long that we just knew what the other was thinking, and turned with a queer smile across his face.

"Look," he spoke, trying to force away the toothy smirk, "I'd love to go with you guys, but Tina made me promise that I wouldn't go out and be a temptation for all the lonely coeds."

Steven let go of me long enough to let out a howling laugh; Jeremy was not bad looking, but had a few pounds hanging around. He was fun to be with, but if you did not know him you would never be able to guess it. He had a tendency to be aloof and standoffish to new people. Plus, he dressed oddly, shorts (of varying styles and fabrics) zombie t-shirts and plaid over-shirts. Standing next to Christina (Tina for short) he was always hilariously under dressed. Only because they lived with us had I ever seen her not made up.

I looked at Steven; he was classic nice guy. He wore the same style jeans and polo shirts in various colors. He wore his hair short and always had a smile on his face. He had just broken up with his girlfriend of three years, but you would never had guessed it from his sunny disposition. I wish I could block it all out like you, I thought to myself. I too had broken up with my long term girlfriend, but seven months prior. Actually she left me, too boring and predictable. I did not know it was possible to dislike someone for being to nice and gentle. But she had fallen out of love with me; being taken care of and loved unconditionally had not been enough for her. She needed the excitement of black leather and loud engines. In the time since our breakup she went through a string of hookups and uncommitted relationships with various individuals of ill repute.

It was sad, I still had dreams about her. She had so quickly and easily moved on, while I was left to decay; stagnant. I had spent almost the entire summer alone in our old apartment, sitting in the dark. I know for a fact that I did not think about anything. My mind was a blank slate for three months. Jeremy found me sitting in her slippers and bathroom while watching static on television. He insisted that I immediately move out of the tiny apartment, and my memories, into his new house. I would meet new people and be safe. I am pretty sure he was trying to keep me from doing something I would regret halfway through.

For three more months I spent my time alone in my room; which, despite my best attempts was well light and oddly painted in bright colors. Or alone in my classes. Sure there were other students, but they were not there for me; they didn't even know me, or care. I would wake up from the prison in my mind, and find that there were notes scribbled in my worst handwriting. It seemed I had mastered the cruise control function of my brain. It was sickening; still is now that I think about it.

As of late the two of them have been trying their hardest to get me to go out. And, until now, I had successfully thwarted all their attempts.


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